It’s Wednesday/Friday Fictioneers again. Thanks, Rochelle for the interesting prompt. Took some bits to think of something. I’m having problems with formatting this week – on this post and others, so please forgive the double spacing. Here are my 100 words.
Yana sat in the window seat, purple rings around her eyes – some mascara, some bruising.
She had always known she could fly – best in spelling, superior in math. In chemistry Yana flew highest.
“Brilliant, Yana!” the professor said.
Then – chosen from RussianLadies.com – she flew to California.
At first the man was kind. He took her bags at the airport, took her gently in bed, smiled at their first born child.
Later, he called her a stupid bitch and struck her. She wondered, “What was that?”
He showed her again and again.
Yana opened the window and took her last flight.
Wow. That was so intense for just 100 words. Very moving story, good job!
LikeLike
Thanks, Rachel, I knew two or three Russian brides at the dental office where I worked. Some were happy – some not so much. Have a great day.
LikeLike
An ardent read.
LikeLike
Thanks, yarnspinnerr.
LikeLike
Probably more common than we realize. I’m sad she felt that was her only way out.
Good storytelling.
LikeLike
Thanks, Melanie. I hope many “mail-order-brides” find a better life.
LikeLike
Powerful stuff 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks, Helen.
LikeLike
Powerful. Well done.
LikeLike
Thank you for reading and commenting, Sandra.
LikeLike
ooh. leaves me as voiceless as your main character. good job. Randy
LikeLike
Thanks, Randy, sometimes there’s nothing to say… I’m glad you stopped by to read. Cheers!!
LikeLike
Alicia, Well written. What a tragic story. I only knew one Russian bride and, as I remember, she walked out of the marriage since she was just dissatisfied. The guy always seemed nice. We knew him before he married her and I think he was lonely. I don’t think he mistreated her in any way. Well done. 🙂 —Susan
LikeLike
Thanks, Susan. I know one happy Russian bride. The others … Glad you stopped by.
LikeLike
Really powerful story.
LikeLike
Thanks!
LikeLike
Wonderful story and a huge sociological issue. I could comment about this all day. Very tragic here, but you really got it right – very well qualified ladies seeking a better, or in fact ‘normal life. I must admit I have not a too great impression of men who ‘obtain’ mail order brides. Of course the same tragedy happens to the Russian bride who elects to get married in Russia, and there are some success stories in some specific contexts – the main one I know is French farmers, who simply cannot find any French women these days willing to live on a farm, and many marry Ukrainian women who enjoy that lifestyle, and in the French cultural context. But generally I cannot believe there is real love involved. In fact, I think it’s a form of slavery.
LikeLike
Hamish, Thanks for such an insightful reply. I appreciate your thoughts. Alicia
LikeLike
The sad part is there are too many true stories like this one. Very powerful stuff.
LikeLike
Thank you. I’m glad you thought so.
LikeLike
That escalated quickly…so much packed into 100 words and yet she couldn’t even use one (HELP) to survive. Nicely done Alicia.
LikeLike
Gosh, thanks. I think if your’e from a foreign country HELP is often hard to say.
LikeLike
You’re right! I am lol 🙂 the one where pride is but a foolish thing when one is really in need.
LikeLike
Poor woman, and plenty of truth in it I fear.
This week’s photo is bringing out a lot of darkness in the stories!
LikeLike
It is, isn’t it? Those clouds kinda’ bring it out.
LikeLike
Tough life and ending. It’s happening as we speak.
LikeLike
Indeed it is. Thanks for reading and commenting.
LikeLike
Such a sad, poignant story, Alicia. Isn’t this so often true in these stories? It all starts so differently and then ends this way… beautiful writing!
LikeLike
Thank you, Dawn. Yes, the old switcharoo is evil. So glad you stopped by to read.
LikeLike
Wow, intense, gripping, confronting and very well told.
LikeLike
Thank you very much. Glad you liked it.
LikeLike
Poignant story..!! Well described in only 100 words.
LikeLike
Pratik, thanks for stopping by to read Flight. Cheers! Alicia
LikeLike
Such a sad plight. If only she’d realized she had rights.
LikeLike
Indeed! Thanks for reading and commenting Alice.
LikeLike
Strangely enough this week I finished reading Roddy Doyle’s book about a battered wife – ‘The Woman Who Walked into Doors’. I was reminded of that book as your story also covers the same issue of domestic violence here. Beautifully written.
LikeLike
Roddy Doyle is an excellent writer, isn’t he? Thank you so much for reading flight. Alicia
LikeLike
Dear Alicia,
Top notch storytelling. Deft touch with language and nuance. Killer ending.
Aloha,
Doug
LikeLike
Thank you, Doug. Your comment means much. Alicia
LikeLike
Dear Alicia,
From beginning to end, your story sent chills flying down my spine. Short concise sentences added to the power of it. Believable and poignant. Bravo!
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Rochelle, thank you! I’m glad you enjoyed (?) my story. )Hard to enjoy such tales.) Alicia
LikeLike
Beautifully constructed…wonderfully told. So sad.
LikeLike
It is sad that anyone should go through something like this and find no hope. Thanks for reading and commenting.
LikeLike
What really impressed me about your story was how you kept it so tightly under control, despite the highly emotional nature of the theme. The end of the first line – “some mascara, some bruising” – is brutal and yet so understated. And then the bleak irony that links Yana’s ability to fly in the past with her flight out of the window gives the story a terrible symmetry.
LikeLike
Blake! What truly kind words. I appreciate your time. Alicia
LikeLike
the prompt seems to be bringing out the suicidal tendencies this week – a terribly sad story.
LikeLike
It really is, isn’t it? And, being one who loves rainy days – I’m kinda’ surprised I wrote such a gloomy tale.
LikeLike
You captured a whole life in 100 words! Really great post!
LikeLike
Thanks so much for taking time to read my post. Alicia
LikeLike
Alicia, I remembered a story in the news about a beautiful Russian woman who married an American she just met. I think she was pregnant when he brutalized her. She was kept on life support till the baby was rescued. Gives me the shivers. Your story reminded me right away of that. The power of the pen!
Lily
LikeLike
What a depressingly true story! Thanks, Lily, for commenting.
LikeLike
One has to wonder about a guy who can’t get a girl at home! Gripping story, my heart aches for those who find themselves in these situations.
LikeLike
I know – have always wondered about that myself. Thanks for reading.
LikeLike
love how you contrasted your character’s strong points in her life like her academic achievements and her courageous attitude to find what she hoped would be a better life, only to find bitter tragedy. really a well told story, Alicia.
LikeLike
Wow!!! Thanks for reading and making such a well thought out comment. Cheers! Alicia
LikeLike
A very well written piece, Alicia. It sounds like she had a lot going for her–until she got to America.
LikeLike
Yep, sometimes things aren’t greener on the other side. Thanks for reading and commenting.
LikeLike
Ow. Pulling uncomfortable faces after reading that. So well done – the innocence of ‘What was that?’ to the palpable desperation of her last act. I think the matter of factness of your last line adds so much impact.
LikeLike
I so appreciate your stopping by to read Flight and comment. Thanks…. Alicia
LikeLike
Great story. Really makes the economy work.
LikeLike
Thank you!
LikeLike
Great, fine details. You really packed so much in to bring it home. Her intelligence, her physical appearance, the bruises, and the tragic end. Really well done.
LikeLike
Thank you, Amy, so many kind words. Cheers! Alicia
LikeLike
Great story! Hope someone was there to catch her.
LikeLike
Oh, me, too.
LikeLike
I was gripped by the emptional intensity of this story, so beautifully understated, so tautly narrated. So sad, too!
(And I don’t know how I missed reading this one earlier — I guess that was during my first few weeks of libreration from the school year, along with the accompanying exhaustion. I missed quite a few that week, it seems.)
LikeLike
Wow! Thanks so much for going back to read this story. I appreciate it. Cheers!
LikeLike